My friend Shani Campbell is one of the the San Francisco Bay Area’s most dedicated animal advocates. She’s also a huge Howard Stern fan.
Well, it turns out that Stern’s sidekick Robin Quivers is inspiring him to rethink his eating habits. He said as much on yesterday’s show (December 14th), and Shani heard the whole conversation. So I asked Shani if she could go back and transcribe and summarize what was said, and she kindly agreed. Here it is; everything in quotes is verbatim:
Howard was talking to his employee Richard Christy about his life growing up in Kansas. They always play calls left by Richard’s dad about their crazy eating habits. Richard’s parents live in a rural part of Kansas and not only go hunting, but also pick up road kill to eat. So the latest message was about his mom killing a buck and his dad killing a doe.
Howard said, “I could never shoot a deer.” and then, referring to Richard’s dad, said, “He kills his own food. I admire that, I need someone else to do that for me.”
Howard brought up a story Richard already had told about raising a calf he named “Calfy” and how eventually his parents had the animal killed and they ate him for an entire winter. Calfy was over a year old by that time. Richard talked about how Calfy would come when he was called and was like a dog, following him around. Howard said, "and he would follow you, and you would feed him, and lick you, and miss you…he had a personality."
Richard loved Calfy so much and was devastated when he was killed, yet still ate him, saying it was just “life.” Howard said, “I couldn’t fucking deal with that, man…”
Howard also said, “when you ate Calfy did you want to kill yourself or throw up?” and “oy vey, so all winter you were eating your pet.”
Richard talked about his current “pet” beta fish and how he loves the fish so much that he now feels bad whenever he eats sushi or fish. Richard said, “I’m so attached. [I’m] at a point where I can’t eat fish.” Beta fish have such personality.
Richard talked about how the butcher kept Calfy’s eyes and gave them to him and he did a school science project on it. Howard compared the situation to his dog Bianca and how he could never imagine getting her eyes in a jar, and then spoke about how much he loves Bianca and how close they are. Howard then said, "I love my dog so much, Bianca, she just looks to me…I mean imagine if they cut out Bianca’s eyeballs. That’s a tough order."
Richard talked about 4-H and how all the kids would be crying at the auction, saying goodbye to their pets. Howard said, “isn’t that a trauma”- (regarding kids at 4-H).
Howard then turned the conversation to pigs and said, “They’re smart animals, they say they’re bright like 3-year-olds.” Richard agreed saying they make “great pets,” and how he wants a pot bellied pig.
Howard also commented on the bear hunt currently happening in New Jersey, “They had this beautiful bear upside down on some guy’s truck,” and then he let out a long disgusted sigh.
Howard said, "I don’t wanna know my food, I need to get involved eventually in this vegan shit, like Robin, cuz this is killing me." (Fucking Richard then interrupted him, so I am sure he could have said more.)